Where do we go from here?..............

"PATIENCE PRAYER"
Lord, teach me to be patient with life, with people, with myself.
I try to speed things along too much, and I push for results before the time is right.
Teach me to trust your sense of timing. Teach me to slow down enough to appreciate life.

So you ask “what can I do” when I am a caregiver to help myself? Here are some helpful hints to relieving care giver strain.

1. Good self-care

Don't even think of skimming by this one. You really do need to come first on the priority list, not last. It's almost too easy to neglect your own needs when you're juggling caregiving, a job, a marriage, and children. Make time for yourself!

Getting enough sleep is a special concern: To help yourself fall asleep, try incorporating some relaxation exercises or meditation into your nighttime routine. Some people benefit from yoga, tai chi, or deep breathing exercises. A good tension release is progressive muscle relaxation, a technique that calls for tightening and relaxing all of your major muscle groups, one by one.

Your wind-down can be as simple as a warm bath or a good book. Whatever your choice, make it routine -- at about the same time each evening, if you can -- to help your mind associate the activity with rest. Reorganize your bedroom so that it's a haven rather than a cluttered workspace.

2. The ability to ask for help

Alzheimer's care can be all-consuming, and it's a common caregiver temptation -- and mistake -- to take it all on yourself.

Make a list of everyone who might help you manage his new life, along with contact information. Utilize family members and friends first.

Give thought to what kind of specific help each person might provide, no matter how large or small.

Then make another list of all the tasks you feel responsible for on a daily basis. Of those:

What can you delegate?

What can you outsource to a paid provider (food delivery, cleaning services, and pharmacy by mail)?

Who can run errands for you?

Who can spell you for a matter of minutes or hours?

3. Family cooperation

If the person with Alzheimer's is a member of your family, your immediate family is likely to be your primary source of support and relief. Siblings often trade off care duty and share financial burdens.

4. Community resources

Alzheimer's-related services offer practical and emotional support that can transform a difficult time into one with pleasant moments, too. What's more, learning about respite care, caregiver training, and assistive devices to make physical care easier has been found to ease stress and delay the need to place a loved one in a nursing home.

You'll particularly need outside support if you're coping with wandering, sun downing, or disturbed sleep.

Realistic expectations

Not having a clear picture of your situation or the prognosis sets you up for rude awakenings or a lot of unnecessary struggle. Once you know what to expect, you can adjust your expectations accordingly. This process also makes it easier to accept his fate.

Learn as much as you can about Alzheimer's and stay abreast of what to expect at different stages of the disease. Talk to others who've lived through the caregiving experience on message boards or in support groups. You'll be better able to deal with what you're going through and gain a peek at what could lie ahead.

6. A game plan

Alzheimer's disease is progressive, which means that while the person with Alzheimer's may stabilize for a long stretch of time; he'll never recover lost abilities. He'll only gradually worsen over time.

You may not be able to address every possibility, but you can start by researching what's likely to happen when -- and your corresponding options. Start by dividing your planning into stages:

What needs to happen at this stage in terms of care?

Who will provide care?

Where will he live?

http://www.caring.com/articles/alzheimers-essentials-for-care